The mysterious case of the devoured rose, and other stuff.

Well – the added stress and lack of solid sleep have finally caught up with me. Bah Humbug!  Aside from blotchy, bright red skin – I’m feeling a deep-seeded fatigue and even thinking about leaving the house is exhausting. I cancelled physical therapy and wiped today’s schedule clear. I can’t risk getting really ill. Rest is the best option, for now. I DO need to practice and do some violin work…as we have a major sectional rehearsal tomorrow and – quite frankly – I’d like to hit as many notes as possible. Combine that with an upcoming audition in a few weeks….so violin work, it is.

But seriously – I feel like I raced Ironman, except for the wrecked-quad feeling. Bracing myself between the bathroom walls while lowering myself onto the commode was never very fun.

On our bright side – my Yank wasn’t selected for the FAC tour. He received some Major support, and we are both so appreciative. A good friend and fellow military spouse told me, “There’s a right way, a wrong way, and the military way.” She’s absolutely, 100%, totally and utterly right (even though that reasoning makes me want to tear out my hair). Throughout this process, I received a lot of support from friends and family – and for that I’m grateful.

The Yank was extremely nervous about this potential assignment, and in turn I did all I could to support him. Obviously the ‘waiting’ and ‘not knowing’ bits were challenging – but, a big part of my struggle was in how isolated from N I felt. Granted, he was having a hard enough time doing his own thing, was a bear to be around, and the past 10 days have been some of his worst – the last thing he needed was to be there for me. I feel selfish for writing this, but I dealt with my own struggles. I was scared as well – I could have used a sympathetic shoulder from him. This would have affected the BOTH of us, not just him. Sometimes its hard to give so much of yourself and your emotions, with so little (if anything) in return. But I absolutely understand that he was in a place where he just couldn’t be there for me the way I needed, and I was hesitant to burden him with my own fears. But he knows I’m upset – hopefully things will be better.

And I feel like a totally jerk for even admitting that – because it has NOT been easy for him. But it hasn’t been easy for either of us.. and I love him and only want the best – seeing him hurt, makes me hurt. I’m human too.

The flip side of this – N’s good friend WAS selected, and my heart goes out to him and his wife. It’s sort of hard to be happy about something, when that happiness is in conjunction with someone else’s misery and misfortune.

The jury is still out. Hopefully things will get better – on the happy and healthy front. That would be SUPER!

In the mean time, there has been some suspicious activity involving a solitary rose in our house. I think I found the culprit, and now understand the “how”. But…. why?

Lovely roses!

One single rose, in a vase all of its own. Nibble marks...?

Confirmed Nibble Marks! And one casualty.

I think we've spotted the culprit. Or at least a tail! Identity yet to be confirmed.

...Tabbitha...?

Nope - House Monster is a witness, not the suspect.

Shitty Kitty! Is ALSO a flower killer. Proof! Clearly, as demonstrated by her girth, she's been getting extra sustenance from somewhere....Now we know!

After a long day of grazing, the rose has survived -

...And while the beast slumbers, the rose looks on.

And the orchid sees all - far from Shitty Kitty's clutches. And appetite.

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7 thoughts on “The mysterious case of the devoured rose, and other stuff.

  1. While I am SO glad that N wasn’t chosen for the FAC tour, my heart does go out to his friend and his wife…yikes! That sounds like no fun at all.

    Sending all my love from Boston!! Rest up, and keep those fingers tickling the violin!

    Love!

  2. I sooo hear you on the “want to be supportive while needing support yourself” front. Last fall was that time for us–husband was dealing with major ego-bashing rejections on the job search. To dig him out of his emotional hole, I had to dig myself in deeper than him to lift him out. Left me totally devastated emotionally, and it was TOUGH.

    I will keep your friends in my thoughts and prayers. Shame on you, shitty kitty, for eating the pretty flowers!

  3. When I remind myself that we are all perfect human beings if we chose to believe and love ourselves I am going to think of you. Take away all tangible items that we use to define ourselves, whether it be sport, a car, an animal, etc… You are beautiful Marit and always will be as long as you chose to own that beauty throughout your life.

    I am beyond thrilled you are writing again… and unfortunately I just got to catch up which means I am flooded with emotion as I read each post.

    You are a wonderful person, but I know that doesn’t validate you. It’s the beauty you’ve found within yourself that I think is amazing.

    HUGS!!! 🙂

  4. Oh Marit, I’m so happy for you guys that Nathaniel doesn’t have to go and you can still be together (at this time). I know how hard that still must be to see your friends have to deal with it instead. UGH! Thinking of you guys a whole bunch.

    And in the mean time, the cats keep you laughing. Bad kitty!!! 🙂

  5. Maritka, I so understand the isolation terror can bring. The feeling in the depths of your soul that something about to happen will change your life forever. It’s a little like death – you can’t talk about it, because in doing so, in saying things out loud, you admit it’s a real possibilty. And that horror would destroy everything you hold precious.
    It happened to me and daddy when you were in the hospital in Prague. We were emotionally isolated; no one could verbalize the unspeakable possibility – but we knew it existed.

    Drop a single tear
    Like a rose petal falling
    Always together

  6. I am so so happy Nate is not going as FAC. I mentioned it to Shaun and he knew exactly how N would feel. And I know what it was like for you. It’s hard, isn’t it, trying to be supportive when they are going through some tough time. So often they find things so hard that they don’t realise it’s hard for us too. It’s interesting because during the last year’s deployment a lot of girlfriends said how brave and tough I seemed but deep inside I was a wreck.

    Skype tomorrow?

    Axxxx

  7. Haha I love the kitty nibble marks:)
    rest up and get well. I know it feels like everythign is happening SO FAST right now and like it will never stop. It will. You will feel that calm and peace of mind again, its just a tough time. And i am glad you have ADC to talk to about this too:) Lotsa love from MN

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