What started as a potential EPIC DISASTER, ended about as well as I could expect.
Hear me out – but there’s just something about training for endurance sports that hardens you to the “normal” niggles and pains of every day life. Lower limb puncture wound via agave plant? Ah – I’ll finish my hike, watch a football game, and then head to the ER. And no, I never said I was objective. Oftentimes, we push into major zones of discomfort, and part of successfully preparing ourselves to race/hike/run/ride/row these distances – is being able to disconnect with the pain. We train our bodies as well as our minds.
Agave plants and all.
Last weekend, the LJSO concert series went great – even better than I had expected. After Friday’s L-O-N-G dress rehearsal (seriously, an hour longer than normal) I was beat. So too, unfortunately, was my ability to play through the end of the 4th mvt of Brahms’s 1st Symphony. One mistake snowballed into five (actually more, but I stopped counting at 5). Lovely! I ended up apologizing to my stand partner (which I NEVER normally do). I was embarrassed – playing during the rests is one thing, but completely getting lost and having NO clue where I was… Um…. blackout?
Saturday was much better, and I figured I had made all my mistakes Friday night… happily no blackouts, no playing during the rests, and my bow was pretty much going the direction that it was supposed to. The review was great – and I was REALLY happy for Nick, our assistant conductor, who premiered his “still getting rid of (Version B)” composition. The piece was amazing to play, and I felt lucky to do so!
Sunday was a different story. Remember that training through pain thing – disconnecting to go the distance? Yeah, um – 5 am I awoke with a horrible uti, which I knew would require medical intervention BEFORE the afternoon concert. I think it’s just how I’m built + lupus related stuff involving my immune system – but those suckers hurt! By 8 am while I was sitting in urgent care, it had progressed to a full blown bladder infection (lovely!), and along with my prescription, the doctor gave me a healthy dose of “tips” on how to remain uti-free.
Yeah, yeah, buddy – it’s not what I’m NOT doing, trust me.
My new challenge shifted from playing the entire concert well to – playing the entire concert well while a) not peeing in my seat or b) not running off-stage mid performance, screaming towards the bathroom. Sadly, I made plans for both contingencies. I tried to convince myself that I could do it… a few years ago during my first concert with the symphony, I had played the entire weekend with pneumonia and NOT coughed during the quiet bits…surely a “little” bladder discomfort wouldn’t be that bad. I think there was some praying and deep (Lamaze-like) breathing involved at times – and while I would never want to take away an encore bow or two – I wanted the audience to STOP clapping so I could avail myself before one-bladder-spasam-too-many pushed me over the edge.
And I only plowed over one elderly cellist in my haste towards the off-stage restroom. Success!
Fast-forward to today…. I’m definitely doing better. And um, I’m hoping that everything gets better asap – fuck you lupus and immune system. I’m on my third round of antibiotics for 2012 – but who’s counting? I’m past being annoyed – this is just my reality, and it is what it is. I’ll take the good with the bad, realize how little control I have over this stuff, and embrace the hurt – because it makes the GREAT times all the sweeter. (But the sucky times are still – sucky).
- And on my birthday week where I turn 31 – I have SO much to be thankful for. Amazing friends, family, and the entire medical community…and during times like yesterday – my sense of humor…. good stuff. This week IS busy…. The Yank and I are going out for birthday beer and pizza at my favorite spot, I get to see lots of friends, I watched that vampire movie (part 4) with M while eating cupcakes last night post-concert (we decided it was good – but just a bridge to the 5th movie), my first Photoshop Project is due Thursday (aack!!!!!!), and we’re preparing to head to Death Valley for the long holiday weekend with J, K, and H. Lots to look forward !
Have a great week!